Love, Sex, and FASHION: "I'm perfectly happy being the "Other woman"

 This weeks "Relationship Topic" comes from an article I read a few weeks ago on necolebitchie.com

a comment from a reader who is perfectly happy with being “the other woman”.

I usually don’t post anything in the comments section but I have to speak for the women who are happybeing the other woman, the jump off, the sideline, if you will. One of my best friends asked me why I continue to sleep with this guy knowing he has a girlfriend and this is what I told her….

I’m a 23 year old chick who has her sh*t together. Might sound vain but really its true. Going to school about to graduate in June of 09, got my own spot, my own car and a damn good job. Unfortunately, I was once sidetracked by love and it almost ruined my life. I almost lost everything I had and was working for. The man I loved didn’t give a f*ck about me. I was just as dumb as Kim Porter is when it comes to Diddy. Swearing up and down my boyfriend was my real life Mr.. Big. Lol at myself!! “I’m his main chick so f*ck the other b*tches!” I’m the one he bought a ring for and took on a trip to Hawaii but I was also the one who got dogged out the most outta all the rest of the h*es. All you so-called wifey’s, girlfriends, and main’s might not wanna admit this but you’re getting done wrong and you’re not even happy. Which is why I’m now the other woman, his mistress, the jump-off, if you will. Call it what you want but I’m happy with an occasional f*ck, dinner, a couple shoes and no emotions involved.

Bran….well, lets just call him Josh, is a win-win situation. I don’t have to worry about why he didn’t call me back last night. With Josh I don’t argue or fight. He’s not my man, he’s just my f*ck buddy so that aint my job to worry about where he been all night. I get the benefits of having a boyfriend (with the great sex, great convo’s and dinner) and the benefits of not having a boyfriend (no drama, no embarrassment, no shared accounts). Which is why I don’t believe that men are the only ones who can benefit from this type of “relationship”. This might sound harsh but hell no I don’t feel guilty for having sex with Josh! I don’t want to take him from her, I just borrow him from time to time. Believe it or not I feel sorry for Josh’s girlfriend and I sometimes wonder if she knows he’s cheating; Though I doubt if she found out I would care. In society, people make us believe that women can’t do what men do. Yes we can(Vote Obama 08′) and we do it better! And your absolutely right, there are no male “hoes”, “mistresses”, or “jump-off’s” but I be damned if I’m labeled as one just because I wanna get my swerve on! I don’t feel the least bit guilty for nothing I do. And even though Kelis is one weird ass chick she said, “I’m the author of the only dictionary that defines me.” And that’s real talk.

 I have always been opposed to the "Other woman."  I always wondered why a woman would settle for that position in a relationship, she should value herself way more than that.  However, after reading this post she brings up some very good points.  I'm not gonna lie I definitely see some perks in being the "Other Woman" lol.  When she mentioned she got "dogged" out the most when she was the main chick, I could identify with her because I have seen and experience this too many times.   The girlfriends, wifeys, and main girls are the ones who are emotionally invested in the relationship and they can literally lose everything chasing behind a cheater.  I have never understood how someone can say they love you so much and with the same breath stab u in the back.  And when was it okay to treat the "other woman" just as well as the main chick?!?!? Times have truly changed.


Becoming  the "Other Woman" depends where you are in life emotionally and mentally.  I cant ever see myself in this position because I refuse to "knowingly" be anybody's second choice but I can understand why some women will choose this lifestyle because there are no expectations " it is what it is".  When you start expecting things that when you give people the power to disappoint you.  I will never pass judgement.....do what you feel is best for you but FYI if women stopped settling for what they can get and not what they want,  life would be so much easier.  I wanna know your thoughts....Due share.  
Until next time .......Love Forever Always, ME